So, I stumbled across a post
on Facebook today that, as usual, made me want to face palm hard enough to send
my eyes skittering down my spine and out my asshole. Yes I know that makes no
sense, but neither did the comments on this post. Basically, it stated, that
men should have no option to weigh in on whether or not a woman aborts his
child, because he doesn’t have a uterus.
I am so pro-choice I should
have it tattooed on my luscious ass. I am also a staunch feminist. I believe in
equality. I believe in rape culture and patriarchy just as much.
What I saw in the comments on
this literally made me so mad and scared that I was nauseous. Women (and men)
who honestly believed that the male partner should be able to dictate whether
or not the female partner could abort a child. If he wanted it, she had to keep
it.
You know why this terrifies
me?
WHERE DOES IT END?!
You put into place a piece of
legislation that dictates a woman cannot abort a foetus if the father wants it.
You’ve now made it the government’s business what a woman does with her own
reproductive system. Like they don’t already dictate to me what I do with it
already.
I’m 23. I have a high school
diploma, a year of university under my belt, a myriad of safety courses taken
through my provincial government, I’m sound of mind and body, and if I wanted
to I could help decide the fate of my country through voting, or use my body to
fight for the liberties / rights / freedoms of others, and DIE in that pursuit.
But I cannot decide at 23 years old whether or not I want to have children. I
cannot get a hysterectomy. I cannot get my tubes tied. My insurance will not
pay for an IUD, but it will pay for oral contraceptive which is less effective.
So they’re already telling me
I can’t truly decide NOT to have children ( using a permanent method of
contraception like a hysterectomy), which would be a truly effective means of
birth control. But, I can sure as fucking hell get pregnant, dump said
developed zygote on the government’s doorstep, and walk away with zero fucks
given.
If a man has the ability to
use the law to attack a woman’s right to chose, what else will they ( the
government, not just men) be able to do? A woman has to ask her employer to
have a child because she’ll need to take mat leave? A woman has to ask to get
condoms or birth control because preventing the conception of a child becomes
the same as aborting one? At what stage do we say enough? No, this is my body,
I need to make the decisions about it. No one else should have the right to be
able to force me into doing something. That is a form of rape to me. There are
no grey areas when it comes to rape. Either someone’s consent was violated, or
it wasn’t. And by telling a woman that she has to irrevocably change her life
for the next ten months, just because her male partner, who happened to
contribute genetic material during a mutually enjoyable sexual encounter,
decides he wants the by-product? He can say, No. That child is mine. I want it.
So you now have to take time off work, go to the hospital, endure unmistakable discomfort
and pain, even though you DO NOT WANT TO. She does not consent to her body
being used this way. But the government will force her too.
Hell fucking no.
This is my body. And I will
decide what happens to it.
I have spent my entire life
having men and ignorant women trying to dictate to me what I can and cannot do
with myself.
Be thin, Victoria, because
it’s more attractive.
Be less opinionated, Victoria,
you’re being obnoxious.
Give in to other peoples
desires, Victoria, you’re a prude / bitch / cunt / tease if you don’t.
Cover up Victoria, you need to
be lady-like and not attract the wrong type of attention, because it’s YOUR
responsibility what men think of when they look at you.
Sit still, be silent, do what
you’re told Victoria, because if you don’t people won’t like you.
Thank the Gods I have parents
who are fucking amazing, who understand how to raise a daughter with the proper
weapons to combat the shitty fucking world we live in. I’m certainly sick and
tired of people thinking they can weigh in on my choices / my body.
If I want to have a kid, I’ll
fucking have one.
If I don’t want to have a
child, NO ONE CAN TELL ME TO HAVE ONE. Just because he happened to have sperm
with the motile ability to swim up my vaginal canal competently doesn’t mean he
gets a say in whether or not that sperm gets to stay there, merged with my
body, awaiting to wreak havoc on my life.
On a side note, as a believer
in equality, if I decide to have a child, and my male partner doesn’t, he
shouldn’t have to deal with my decision. The onus is now on me. He shouldn’t
have to pay child support, fees, insurance, or anything. If he wants no part of
that child, he should not be forced by anyone to partake of that child’s life
in any way.
This all makes me so mad. I
see it all the time. Girls getting sent home because their bra straps were
showing. Or their shoulders, their thighs were showing. You are sexualizing
children. We are so obsessed with women’s bodies and what they do with them,
that we are ignoring the fact that we are human fucking beings.
If a person fell ill, and it
turned out you were a match for bone marrow / kidney transplant with them, do
they automatically have the right to receive it from you? Hell no. No fucking
way. This is no different. My parents gave birth to me. Raised me. Fed me and
clothed me. If one of them falls ill with said illness, do they have the right
to force me to give up a kidney for them? No. But they contributed genetic
material to me? They were the ones that raised me. Doesn’t fucking change this
fact. Throw sex into the mix, and suddenly things change. Because abortion and
sex are such hot topics, such taboo scenarios, that suddenly all the normal
rules and regulations of consent go out the fucking window.
I say no. My body is not your
battle ground. It is my temple, my haven, my place where I control what
happens. Not you.
And if you have a problem with
that, you can suck my proverbial dick.
Slainte,
V
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