For those of you who have no fucking clue
what a rubric is, here is the definition from www.dictionary.com
Rubric: any established mode of conduct or procedure; protocol.
So now that
that is out of the way here we are with a blog post that is much overdue.
People are
constantly belabouring the lack of good customer service these days. They
lament over the loss of manners and exceptional service, they wish that somehow
–SOMEWHERE - there was a way for them to get quick and friendly service for
exactly what they need. Well, here is a rude awakening for 90% of consumers out
there. We aren’t the problem – you are.
What a
revolutionary concept, eh? You being a problem when all you want is for us to
do our jobs properly? Welcome to my world. I spend approximately 35 hours a
week listening to people ask for things I can’t do.
I want free
butter.
I want a
free refill on all sizes.
I want lower
prices.
I want into
the building before you’re actually open.
I want you
to pop a fresh batch of popcorn 5 minutes from closing just because I’m a picky
bitch
and need it to be extra fucking fresh.
I want you
to smile and be perky for hours at a time when all we do is treat you like a
robotic non-entity built entirely to satisfy our needs.
I want you
to go to extraordinary lengths to fulfill my irrational request just because
you make minimum wage and work in the service industry because it’s your JOB.
I’m sure you
can tell by now exactly how I feel about many of the people who come across my
path when I’m working.
You want
things to be exactly the way you want as a consumer, but to someone who deals
with people like you all the time...well, it gets really fucking frustrating
after about...oh... ten minutes. As a worker I have been given a decently
strict set of rules to adhere by, and I am asked several times a shift to break
at least one of those rules by a customer. I get treated like shit by people
because I refuse to allow them to bully me into rule breaking just because I am
a young woman in a customer service job making damn near minimum wage and it’s
my job to please you. I’m about to tell
you exactly what to do to attain damn near perfect customer service every time you
walk into a business.
1.
Be patient. Many customer service representatives go through
dozens if not hundreds of people a day and it is exhausting. If we are dragging our heels a bit consider the fact
that we might be a single parent with two kids who barely slept the night before.
Or working two jobs just to pay the bills because we weren’t lucky enough to go
to post secondary. Being patient with a CSR is a sure way for us to go as fast
as we can, and give you a smile if not secret sales and price discounts we can
give you.
2. Be polite.
A please and a thank you are bound to get you a sassy grin from me, as well as
speedy service and particularly pleasant manners. My mother taught me to extend
courtesy and polite manners to everyone regardless of their job position.
3. Be rational. If we are
obviously busy with something asking us to drop everything and help you is
really rude. I am in the middle of performing a task necessary for my job and
you want me to stop to fulfill a request for you. If it’s something small most
of us don’t mind doing it right then... but seriously make sure you’re asking
something reasonable of us, and not something that breaks protocol, health code,
or makes us uncomfortable. My name isn’t Jeannie and I don’t cross my arms and
nod perkily every time you need something from me.
4.
Communicate
clearly. We
can’t help you if we have no clue what you’re saying and/or asking for.
Standing there mumbling when I have a lobby full of couple hundred people (half
of those screaming children) is not going to make this process any easier. The
same goes for any store: if you want a certain product KNOW THE NAME. If you
need something particular, BE PARTICULAR about what you are asking for. Getting
mad at us because we can’t read your mind about your choice of skinny jean brand
is not kosher. Product education is a particular passion of mine, but that
doesn’t mean I want to stand there for ten minutes explaining the ins and outs
of what we offer because you can’t make up your mind. Seriously.
5.
Treat us like
people.
I have a uniform, a name tag, and I stand behind a counter. That does not
suddenly make me non-human. I am a person with feelings and beliefs and just
because I am being paid to stand there and take your order does not suddenly
mean those things go away. Don’t expect me to smile and nod if you’re being
rude to me, sexually harassing me (you may think you’re flirting...you’re not),
or getting up in my proverbial space because I won’t douse your popcorn with
butter – which is more than $50 a tub. I am not perfect, stop treating me like
I have an operating system that has been seared behind me retinas to do exactly
as you please all with a pretty little demure smile on my fucking face.
I have opinions and I will treat you to them
if you push me. Welcome to Earth, are you here to stay? If so, get used to
interacting on civil base with people no matter what
race/gender/sex/orientation/wage/religion they make/are. Both of us would have
a much happier day if you weren’t a douche to me because I didn’t put enough
ketchup on your burger. Or got you the wrong size of pants. Or the wrong
perfume brand. Life is full of small disappointments, be the bigger person and
stop taking out your anger out on a virtual stranger for making a mistake.
Those five steps
listed above are damn near guaranteed to get you lively and efficient service.
Remember people if you treat people nicely, they will normally do the same to
you. Now obviously there are CSR’s out there who give zero fucks and just stand
around and do nothing... sorry about them... their just here for the scenery
obviously. Also the title of Customer
Service Representative may be misleading. This can also be read as Sales
Associate, or basically anyone who interacts with customers and provides them
with a service. Capice?
Now that I’ve
finished this rant I am off to eat chocolate, drink some mother fucking apple
juice, and watch Vampire Diaries...cause that’s how I reward myself after an
hour of writing.
Slainte,
~ Viki
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